Rejection – A Way of Getting Closer to What You Want

I’ve heard no, been turned down, and rejected in some way or another in more times than I could even begin to count. Some days those no’s penetrate deep into my core.  Other days they roll off of my back and I never give them a second thought. Regardless of where they land, rejection is one of the biggest concerns entrepreneur’s face.

I’ve recently invested in some personal development courses to help improve my own business and I’ve been faced with dealing with rejection on a much deeper level. Being pushed out of my comfort zone to offer more of myself and my services, I bumped up against the core fear of not being loved.

When I explained to a dear friend and coach, Tamara Younker, that I don’t want to be pushy she asked what underlying belief was creating that feeling. I immediately knew it was that I wanted to be liked. So much so, that I actually pride myself on being a well-liked person. She then called me out on this limiting belief and we both saw that behind all of it was the deep fear of rejection. As the incredible coach that she is, she reminded me that I’m all that I need, I don’t need any of the things that I seek outside of myself.  Those words stuck with me and have been vibrating around for weeks.

This past weekend as I embraced the wonderful energy of New York City and all of its excitement I was intrigued by one dominant behavior within so many of the people.  From the street vendors, to the pedicabs, to China town, to Little Italy – all of the individuals were vying for the spending dollars of the tourists and the millions of people who travel through the city.  And although they are told “no” more times than they could count in an hour, they aren’t willing to give up.

In Little Italy each restaurant had a server outside reaching out to the passerby’s to persuade them to come and eat in their restaurant, asking them to check out the menu, and have a seat.  In China Town the workers negotiated the best price and sought out to help you purchase their goods. On the street, vendors lined up asking you to check out their products and in the Central Park pedicabs and horse carriages called out to you to take advantage of their service.

Amazed at the amount of energy it took for each sale and transaction I began to realize that these people face rejection so many times a day and yet they continue to keep offering what they do.  I thought about how many times the fears came up for me every time someone said no, making me want to retreat or even give up or give in. Realizing that these individuals were so passionate about what they were doing or making a living that “no” was just another object in their way, quickly forgotten about as the next potential client walked by.

One man in Little Italy even got upset when someone turned down his offer to hold a table for his large group and yelled out “If you don’t want me, I don’t want you.” And I thought – brilliant! While it may have seemed rude at first, there’s no point in chasing after someone who really has no interest in working with you. The no’s get you closer to those who really do need and want what you have and regardless of how many people don’t need or want what you have, there are always those who do.

And synchronistical, there are always just enough people who need and want what you have when you are willing to go out and look for them. There are always plenty of customers when you are willing to let go of the no’s in search for the yes’s.

Don’t let “no” be a sign of rejection or that you aren’t good enough, instead let it take you a step closer to getting exactly what you want.

Andrea M. Costantine is the Service & Soulful Marketing Strategist, helping conscious business owners find easy and authentic ways to market their services utilized whole person and spiritual marketing strategies. She’s passionate about freedom, self-expression, and inspiring human potential. You can find out more about Andrea and her work at www.andreacostantine.com