Have you ever stopped to think about where you will be in five years? Will your current habits support better health? Do you see yourself with a few more pounds, or would you like to get older with grace?
In this 2:30 video, I give you an activity to begin reflecting on your life, and a way to make changes that support good health.
We all need someone who can be a sounding board, someone who reflects back to us our own strength, and encourages us to grow. In three minutes, find out how a coach can lead you to a deeper understanding of your life.
Today, I walked the labyrinth at Unity on the Avenue Church on 17th Avenue in Denver. It was the first date I had with myself for a very long time. Here are some of the lessons I learned on my journey today:
There is no wrong or right way to move through life- there is only this moment to notice and embrace!
It is not about arriving and leaving, coming and going, beginning and ending- it is about becoming more aware of your journey at this moment, and finding peace.
I have a tendency to want to skip ahead in time- to look to what is coming next instead of really experiencing this moment. It took me most of the labyrinth to become aware of more than just the sound of passing cars- I finally tuned into the squirrel scampering up the fence, five different bird songs, and the crunch of the gravel under my feet. Then I noticed the blueberries, just two, dropped inside the path, and wondered who had dropped such a sweet surprise. When I was able to release the voices in my head, my heart steadied,and I became present to the world around me.
How is it that the 27 year old relationship with my husband and the 22 years of relationships with my children speak louder than the 48 years I have spent with myself? What I feel in the depths is a longing and desire to find me and develop a loving relationship with this soul, this body, this person who has been my life-long companion. I have no desire to tame her- rather I hope to unleash her passions for life and encourage her to come out and play, to increase the fun in her life. I want to love and accept all of her without judgment.
I am creating space in my life- setting my intention that quiet moments will be filled with conscious breath and more listening. The deeper meaning in my life will come with repeated trips to my center, moving deeper and deeper through the experiences in my life. And, like the author T. S Elliot says,
“We shall not cease from our exploration
And at the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time”
Will you join me as we wander through the inner wilderness our our own hearts, and learn to love ourselves for the first time?
I am rereading a book I love called “A Weekend to Change Your Life” by Joan Anderson. I may be writing several blogs on the activities she has to help women discover their own passions and re-ignite a desire to take care of self. The calendar activity was an eye opener for me.
On a clean sheet of paper, without the use of your daytimer, try to remember back to the activities you engaged in over the past year. Start with January and move to the present day. Once you have events listed, put a square next to the activities that exhausted you, a triangle by the ones that invigorated you, a heart by the ones spent with a significant other, and a circle by the experiences that were just for you.
As I moved through my year, I became aware of how my days were occupied by work and family life, and how little time was focused on me or on my relationship with Tony. As I looked over the page, I wondered how many of my activities I did because I truly loved them, or I did out of duty or necessity. While there were some fun things like Becca’s college graduation, and trips to Iowa to do some speaking and college tours, and having all three girls plus guests at home this summer, those things also took a lot of energy. Sometimes my weeks were filled with nothing but exhausting activities. What was glaring at me was the lack of scheduled downtime in my months, no vacations, no chunks of time away to rejuvenate or re-energize. And other than the regular energy work exchange with a good friend, there were no scheduled times for self care.
It was a great exercise for me to see what was clearly lacking in my life so I can make different choices in the future. Tony and I sat down this morning to plan some dates before the end of the year, and we have plans to get away for two days in January. I am re-evaluating my exercise schedule, wondering how I can find a pool to start swimming, which I haven’t done for years. For some reason, the water is calling me and I would like to honor that desire.
As the girls are all on their journeys moving out into the world, it is a perfect time for me to take the journey inward, and plan out events that allow me to experience the joy of self, and rediscover my own passions. My inner journey toward self love will change the look of next year’s calendar. I hope that when I complete this exercise next year, less squares will show up and a lot more hearts and circles will fill the page.
What do you want your self-care to look like in the next year? If you don’t schedule it, it won’t happen. The time is now.
Reflection: a thought occurring in consideration or meditation.
Looking at this picture, I am drawn into the reflection, wondering about what it is I am seeing in the soap bubble. This bubble captured a moment in time, when the trees were just beginning to bloom, or maybe it was taken when the trees were in the last stage of Autumn, dropping their leaves. I love the blue sky that almost looks like the world. The stillness of the house draws me into the moment.
The same thing happens when we decide to reflect on our lives. It is like looking at the soap bubble, where a moment of our life has been stopped in time and we are trying to figure out what the moment tells us about our life.
I have found one of the best ways to reflect on my life is through the use of a journal. Journals are multi-purpose, depending on what you want to reflect on. I have several journals myself, writing different things in each to keep a record of where I have been, and where I am going.
The first journal is full of my morning pages, the writing I do when I get up in the morning. Julia Cameron, author of “The Artist’s Way” suggests that everyone write morning pages as a way of clearing the mind and allowing our creativity to begin flowing. Many times, my morning pages are a mix of discussions with the Divine, my to do list, frustration at mistakes made, acceptance of self. When I take the time to write my morning pages, the writing I do later in the day is much more clear and creative because I have taken the time to clear the cobweb thoughts away.
I end the day with a gratitude journal, where I write three things that I am grateful for. These are usually grace filled moments that have shown up in my day, but sometimes, when I am really struggling, the three things may be as simple as “I am grateful that I had food today,” or ” I am grateful that I have a car to drive.”
In between the morning pages and the gratitude journal at night, there are many types of journals that can help record progress in my day. I can use a journal to record my exercise, or my food intake, so I know that I am on the right track for meeting physical goals. I may write a journal specifically for my health, where I spend time getting in touch with each body part, and asking what it needs to be healthy. I can keep a garden journal, a travel journal, a journal of stories from my childhood, etc. Each of these types of journals gives me insight into my life.
As the definition suggests, reflection takes place in a state of consideration or meditation. The more we slow down and look at where we are, the more conscious we are about the ways we move forward in the world. And the activity of writing brings us to the present moment, allowing us to reduce stress.
This year, I will be talking about each kind of journal in detail, so you will have the opportunity to see how each journal may or may not fit into your life. Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Let’s see what we can do this year to make our lives a conscious decision to do the right thing, to treat ourselves and others with love, and to reflect on how we are showing up in the world.
Do you have a journal now? What kind and how does it serve you? Thanks for taking the time to share!
The steam is rising from my cup of tea, and huddled under the blanket on my lap, I am cozy as I write this post. Although I do feel the importance of planning my year so that I know where I am going, I am being called right now to sit in the silence and let my heart guide me. The Christmas tree is still up for another week, and I am enjoying the soft white lights behind the gold and silver stars. There is no place for me to be but here.
I am reminded about how busy we become so quickly after a time of rest. You did rest, didn’t you? Our family time was spent at the Haas Family cabin on Columbine Lake. It was our last time together in the cabin because it has been sold to another family- an aunt with many nieces and nephews. I hope that she can create as many wonderful memories as we did. It was difficult to leave a place where our girls experienced so much fun over the past twenty years. Fourth of July and New Years were our two big celebrations, although we would get to the cabin as often as possible. It is where I wrote the bulk of my book in the fall. I am grateful for spaces that allow us to be ourselves, where we could share family time, a big hammock in the summer to reflect on the clouds passing overhead, and large windows by the fire to watch the snow fall.
So now I sit in my own living room, in no hurry to move forward, caught up in that reflection time. I read about the need to make 2011 a much more productive prosperous year, yet I am drawn like my friend Andrea Costantine, into a creative space where more reflection and gratitude for my life feels like the right approach to take for a wonderful new year. Yes, money needs to be earned and a book needs to be finished and published, but I am counting on Divine Timing to guide my steps. Prayer time and writing time will fill my mornings before I begin on my computer. Creative time will increase my productive time. If I get out of my own way, and trust my intuition about where I am supposed to be, I will have an amazing year. If I am focused only on the future, it is easy to miss the moments of grace that actually propel me to more abundance in my life. I am committed to being a healing presence in the world, and no amount of new year’s resolutions will help me do that. Any planning for the future takes me out of the present, the only place I can bring healing to myself and the world.
So I vow to live more of my days in the moment instead of dreaming about my tomorrows and planning my future. What about you? How are you going to slow down instead of speed up so you don’t miss the miracles in your life?
|
*Friends who bring joy
*Family gatherings where everyone leaves their baggage at the door
*Amazing food that feeds your soul
*Moments of reflecting on your accomplishments of 2010
*Planning time for an abundant new year
*Love and Laughter that rings through your celebrations
But mostly,
I wish you peace.
I wish you space to recognize all the good in your life. May the spirit of this holiday time enfold you, comfort you, and remind you that despite the difficulties this year may have held, everything is unfolding as it should.
Love is born into the world, and with all our efforts, we can make 2011 a year of abundance and goodness to remember!
It doesn’t matter if the message comes over the phone, by text, or through a facebook message, those four words can always melt my heart. My oldest daughter is studying abroad in Greece this semester, and it has been difficult to not be in contact with her. When she is away at college, we usually will talk once a week, and text in between. Now that there is a 9 hour difference and a lot more pocket change involved, we get to Skype every three weeks or so, when we can actually schedule time together. I know Becca is having the time of her life, experiencing new people and cultures, new places and food. I know that she is learning because I see pictures of her sitting in museums, actually in the presence of the art she is studying. And she writes a blog to tell us of the exciting things she has done, like riding a donkey up a hill in Santorini.
Yet the distance and time between us matters so little when she reaches out and says, “I miss you Mama.” Becca is the only one of my daughters to call me Mama. I am not sure when it began but it is such an endearing term to me, and no matter how old she gets, I am taken back in time to when she was young enough to sit in my lap and read books together, snuggled in on the couch. I see her smiling face. I hear her laughter and her spirit surrounds me in joy.
It is nice to know that wherever she is in the world, she still thinks about home and the comforts that our family brings to each other. It is nice to know that far away from my arms is never too far from my heart. I miss you too Becs!
This is one of my favorite quotes about living in the present moment. It is a perfect quote on a day after a spring snowstorm, when nine inches of snow will melt under the sun in a day. And just as quickly as the snow melts, moments of opportunity also disappear from our presence. Are you loving your life right now in this moment? What can you do to make small changes that will make your life easier and more fun?
I have to say I love my life. Maybe that is because I have been afforded free time to be creative, to reflect on life, to write my book. I am enjoying the process of revisiting the year I was so sick, and looking at how far I have progressed in my health since then. I love being in contact with others through my writing, and I am grateful for the opportunity to share my life with you.
This week before Easter is a difficult one for my husband. He works for a church and is in constant motion preparing for all the special masses that take place next week. He is stressed, and even the day away from the office because of snow seems to have faded away into the background. I can see on his face the worry about how much he has to get done in a short amount of time. Part of his job is training everyone who will be participating next week as a reader. That means he has to find the time to meet with them and prepare them, and that can’t be done during the day when most people work. His time is running short.
One thing I know about my husband is that he loves what he does. Yes, it is a very busy difficult time for him, but next week, when all the pieces have come together and the community experiences something wonderful because of his behind the scenes work, he will come alive with their enthusiasm.
We do only have this moment. It may be quiet and reflective, or it may be hectic, full of lists and people to meet. But it is fleeting. This moment will be gone forever… in a moment. Whether you are suffering in this moment or rejoicing, know that this time will pass. So are you going to be present to it? What can you gain from experiencing this time right now?
Eckart Tolle talks about releasing the pain body by focusing only on the here and now. Just letting go of your story of pain can reduce your current pain immensely. And remembering that nothing is permanent can help move you through the difficult times. There will always be a sunrise, a new day to bring new perspective.
In the philosophers notes, Brian Johnson was talking about a symphony. “As the great Confucius said, ‘The one who would be in constant happiness must frequently change.’ Flow. But we keep looking back, don’t we? We cling to things in the past and cling to things in the present… Do you want to enjoy a symphony? Don’t hold on to a few bars of the music. Don’t hold on to a couple of notes. Let them pass, let them flow. The whole enjoyment of a symphony lies in your readiness to allow the notes to pass…”
Don’t hold on to the pain, the stress, the joy, the snowflake. Everything is passing. The goal of your life is to be in the flow, and let the experience of each moment carry you on to the next.
So today, as you watch the snowflakes melt, remember that each moment is an opportunity for you to more fully experience the flow of life.
Happy Spring!
In Colorado, it is sometimes hard for us to think Spring when we have late snow storms. Fifteen inches in the last two storms doesn’t really hint at Spring. But as the snow has melted this weekend, what is showing through is the bright green grass, the purples of grape hyacinths, the mixed colors of pansies , and the reds and yellows of tulips and daffodils.
Even if it snows here in March and April, I can go to the grocery store and see the colors of spring. Red, ripe strawberries fill up the produce isles, along with the blueberries. One of my favorite vegetables, asparagus, can also be found in bright green and tender white varieties. Mother Nature sure knew what she was doing when she made fruits and vegetables the colors of the seasons.
This week, take an hour or two and focus on color. Whether you are in a store or outside in Mother Nature, I am sure you can find a reason to appreciate the palate of Spring. Notice the subtle differences between shades of the same color, or how colors complement each other.
Maybe think of this exercise as a way to see the world through a different set of eyes. Is there something in your life that you need to see from a different perspective? Instead of looking at something from a negative point of view, how can you change a situation and look at it from the positive changes that it is creating in you?
And as you realize what a beautiful world we live in, be grateful for your eyes, your ability to see the world in three dimensions, to see the amazing richness of nature, whether in or outside, snow or no snow.
The world is waiting for you!
Happy Exploring!
I write….
I write from the old rust colored chair in the corner of my bedroom by the window, where I can watch the sun move over the tops of houses and trees and the where the steam rises from my tea cup like morning prayers.
I write in a leather bound journal that houses a new notebook each time I scribble final words on the last page.
I write on my computer with thoughts flowing faster than my fingers can type, but I like the sound of my fingertips softly tapping the keys, changing single letters into words that create an artistic design, flowing easily from one idea to the next, eventually creating art to share.
I write from my heart the stories that have touched me as I travel on my journey; the people, the places, the sounds and experiences that shape my world. I write about love and friendship, family, illness, heartbreak, women and the man I love, children and laughter and anything that pokes and tugs at my heart and reminds me that I am alive.
I write from past experiences; from poems about childhood friends, to teenage crushes to finding the young girl who was lost in childhood moments of darkness. I write about love, children, and finding God in ordinary moments. I write about a debilitating illness that nearly took my life, and the journey to discover me again.
I write in the present time, about breathing and sitting on the beach letting go of all that does not serve me. I write about the sun coming through the window and the thoughts that dance around in my head. When I write, I am present in my body, and all of me moves in rhythm as the words form on the page.
I write in moments of joy, when words leap out of me, bursting forth in color like the show of fall leaves, in red and orange and gold, in a glorious display that shouts “Life is good.”
I write when tears of sadness fall from my face and run with the ink, blotting out my words, as if that would erase the pain. My pen carries the song of melancholy across the page, leaving a heart rendering piece that even years later still has the ability to bring the familiar wetness and sting to my eyes.
I write in moments of pain, when the screaming shows up in my hand wrapped tightly around a pen, intensely scratching out words across the page in dark deep indentations. It is impossible to write small when angered passion rushes out in bold large letters that don’t fit neatly on the lines.
I write in moments of reflection, looking back on an experience and seeing how much I have grown, or not. I write about who I was, who I long to become, and who I am in the present moment. I write from my center, allowing God’s voice to take form in my own words, reminding me of my own divine likeness and energy.
I write about life, all the light and the dark, the good and the bad, the sad and the happy. I am the words on the page, the object I write about and the experience that changes me. In the moment of writing, I am connected to all through a stream of consciousness that feeds my soul. The very act of writing gives me life.
Wishing you…