Archive for learning new things

Believe in the Good

 

Believe Rock

Somewhere along this journey, I have learned to see the good in life through all the obstacles that come my way. I will admit that this is easier when things are going well, then on those days when I am in a funk, or my list of to-do’s is longer than my patience for such things.

Yet, now I am even able to stop and say, what is this experience teaching me?  What good can I pull from this experience??

We need each other to shed light on our journey and remind us of what is good. I have had many positive mental attitude coaches along the way, helping me to see with eyes of gratitude.

Life provides many opportunities for us to learn and grow. When we believe that life is generally good, we have the capacity to use that strength to help us overcome the darkness that is a part of life. That change in perspective- gaining that 360 degree view that only comes when we get to the top of the mountain, or to the end of a long road, helps us to live our lives more fully, knowing that joy comes out of the pain of our lives.

When we have the courage to be vulnerable and fully live authentically even through the pain, we come out on the other side, more fully human,  more resilientmore connected, and better able to trust in the good that always comes in life.

Soccer Season Comes to an End

It was a beautiful afternoon for a walk around the neighborhood park.  It is the last week of soccer season, which means the last game for my daughter is on Saturday.  She doesn’t play soccer for her high school, so she will be grieving the loss of such an amazing part of her life.  Tony will also be grieving.  He coached Becca’s team for 13 years, and then took over Sarah’s team.  Soccer has been his afternoon and weekend hobby for as long as we can remember.

On one side of the park, little  7 year old girls in pink t-shirts and pigtails were playing their white counterparts in a make-up game.  On the other field, sporting odd outfits and mismatched pony tails and shin guards on the outside of socks, were Tony’s girls, mostly high school seniors, who are laughing their way through practice.

As we all learn to find new ways to spend our time on weekends, I can’t help but think of the times in our lives when we  let go of an activity at the end of a season- a season  dictated by weather,  age, or any of life’s transitions. So maybe soccer won’t be the way we choose to fill our Saturdays anymore, but there will be something new to challenge us, and hopefully help us to laugh and find joy in life.  I may have left childhood a long time ago, but the crunching of fall leaves under my feet still makes me want to dance and giggle!

We tell the story of one dad who, at the end of a soccer season, told Tony “Thanks for all you do.” And he didn’t mean just soccer. He meant thanks for all the lessons of life learned on a soccer field, especially the ones that remind you to keep growing!

What activities have come to an end for you in this season of life?  What did you learn from your experiences with this activity?  What is something new you can learn?  Maybe something you have always wanted to do but never had the time?  There is no time like the present!

 

 

 

 

 

A Mother’s True Calling: Not to Fix But to Be With

It was the disturbing quality of the scream coming from one son looking at his brother that alerted Cindy and told her something was terribly wrong.  Her fourteen year old son Stephen was lying as stiff as a board in the middle of the family room having a seizure.     The doctors were quick to tell Cindy that he didn’t have cancer or heart disease.  And while that was all good, the diagnosis of Epilepsy was enough to throw the family into a tailspin.  About the same time, and strangely not connected, Stephen began to lose his eye sight from a condition known as  Keratoconus.  This disease causes the cornea of the eye to turn into cone shape and it distorts vision, causing multiple images and sensitivity to light.

Car troubles, an ovarian cyst, medical bills, worrying about her other two sons, and wondering if a last straw would cause her husband David to walk out, Cindy has done her best to hold the family together.

According to Cindy, the trick to moving forward is to not look back at the way things were before Stephen’s diagnosis, but to forge ahead, adapting to life’s changes.  Eventually, you find yourself moving out of survival mode into something that looks like a new normal.  Cindy can’t fix what ails her son, but she has learned to be present and not focus only on the moments when Stephen is having a seizure, but rather live for the moments that look like “normal” life.

Stephen has lived with Epilepsy now for two years.  He has gone through seven different medications, none of which have stopped his seizures, and has had almost every side effect, including weight gain and losing his hair.  Because of his eyes, Stephen has to study for school by lying on the floor and reading so close to the page of a book it looks like he has fallen asleep in a middle of a boring read.  But he is the ever cheerful one, not complaining at all about the challenges that he faces.  Cindy and David are even talking to Stephen about the possibility of going to college.  He joked and said he would be the only person there who had not only a seeing- eye dog but also a dog to notify him of oncoming seizures.  “You have to laugh at those things that would otherwise make you cry,” she says.

“Stephen has been my teacher,” Cindy said, learning how to see things in perspective and not sweat the small stuff.  She is a better mother and wife and her family has emerged stronger because of this storm.

The biggest lesson Cindy has learned is that she has never walked this journey alone.  “What you don’t know until later is that unseen hands are holding you up, wanting to help in any way they can.  You may feel isolated and alone, but there is a whole network of people who say, ‘Let me help.’ And your only response should be ‘Yes, thanks.’”


Cindy lives in Sioux Falls, SD.  Her favorite hobby revolves around theater, which she does with her whole family. At times her house looks like an exploding anthology of plays!  She and her husband Dave are on the Board of the local community theater, and she organizes the summer theater camp for local kids.  Cindy is a voracious reader and loves any activities that involve her sons. She works as an MIS Specialist for The Midland Group.

Thank you Cindy for reminding us to be present to this moment!

You are my Inspiration!

When was the last time you tried something new?  When did you last step out of your comfort zone and learn a new skill?  Did you get up at 3:30 in the morning to do it?  I mean who really makes high school kids get up that early?

My daughter decided to go out for her school’s swim team because it is a no cut sport.  She knew she would be on the C team, knew that she could stay in shape for soccer, and hoped that she could swim with her friends.

During the four days of time trials, she learned that her best stroke is the breast stroke. I should say it is the only stroke she knows well enough to swim the whole length of the pool.  When she attempted all the other strokes, she had the captains of the team swimming beside her, encouraging her to keep going.  I can pretty much say that out of all the girls on the team, my daughter falls dead last.  But what she lacks in talent, she makes up for in spirit and determination.  She is not a quitter, and is looking forward to swimming at 5:30 two mornings a week just to improve her skills. She really wants to learn how to float!

My daughter inspires me.  She reminds me that even when life is challenging, you don’t give up and walk away just because something is hard. She teaches me that when you hang in there, you can learn what you need to know and become successful.  Success for her this season is to learn something new and to stick with a new sport.  It is not about winning.  Yet she is a winner in my mind.

As I work at marketing my book, I know that I am treading water in new territory, and I only have to think of my daughter and know that the skills I need to learn will come to me in time. My journey isn’t about how fast I can get to the finish line, only that I eventually do reach my goal.

I am so grateful to have a teacher like my daughter in my life.  She inspires me with her courage and determination.  She inspires me with her positive outlook on life and her willingness to look silly as she improves her skills.  Plus, she is in line to receive the most improved award at the end of the season.  Isn’t that worth working for?

So I ask you again, when was the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone?  What can you learn from my daughter and apply to your own life?

My sweet girl, thank you for helping me to see my own challenges in a different light. I love you!

Speaking Your Truth: Be Inspired!

Today is the day!  Please order your  Speaking Your Truth book at Amazon.com

This book is a great read in itself or an inspiring gift for a friend, colleague, or family member.

Be inspired by women’s stories about Finding Your Path, Health and Healing, Family Matters, Love and Abuse, Faith and Spirituality and Self-Discovery.

I tell a little bit of my story in a chapter called “The Bedpan”  You will learn about my journey back to health after a lengthy illness.  I have had so much positive feedback from writing this little segment that I am working diligently on my own book to be ready next spring.  Stay tuned here for further details.

Thank you so much for supporting all of us.  You can get one for yourself and buy one as a gift and receive free shipping.  And hopefully you will find even one story that can give you the inspiration you are looking for to reach for your dreams.

Thawing my Winter Heart

I love the quiet of the mornings when everyone else is off to school and work, and I get to sit down for some quiet reflection.  Last night we got a dusting of snow.  Now as the sun dances across the shimmering surfaces, I watch as the snow melts off the mailbox, first in drips, then in a large chunk.  The melting reminds me that green things will be growing soon.

It is that time of year when we begin to thaw out, and make way for spring.  So what in my life needs to thaw so I can grow?  What have I closed my heart to because of fear, depression, anger, and how can I bring that part of my heart back to life?

I was talking to a friend the other day about the healing journey we continue to walk together, and I made a comment about how much “stuff” there is to deal with in life, and wondered what happens to those people who don’t ever take the time to reflect and learn from the experiences of their lives.  I know that the more work I do on myself, the more work I find to do.  I am the never ending onion, peeling back a layer and finding another underneath.  Yet somehow I know that I am getting closer to the essence of who I am.

George Leonard, author of Mastery says that the traveler is fortunate if the path is profound and complex enough to make the destination two miles farther away for every mile he or she travels.   That is what the journey of life feels like.  When the obstacles in my way become opportunities to grow and shift my view of the world, then I am truly living the journey, not waiting for the destination.   This has been so true for me this year.  I started out with all my goals lined up, and a broken wrist became an obstacle to reaching those goals.  Now I am happy to have had the time to learn the lessons of slowing down, to rediscover my inner child, and learn to embrace her as part of my life.  I realize that any goal I set needs to have balance so that I can continue to nurture my ability to play, be creative, and have fun.

Today I will embrace whatever challenge comes my way because I know that there is new life on the other side of that challenge.  I am looking for things that need to thaw in me, and using the resources of the abundance universe to help me do that.  I am melting my hardened ways and looking to be more gentle with myself and others.

The Power of Your Other Hand

“In teaching hundreds of people to write with both hands, I’ve observed over and over that writing done with the other hand often expresses the disowned and oppressed parts of the self.  With profound simplicity the other hand speaks for the powerless, weak, subordinate aspect of the personality…  It is easier to express feelings by writing with the other hand.  For that reason, it is an excellent therapeutic technique.  Scribbling out rage, fear, frustrations, sadness, helplessness, and vulnerability can bring immeasurable relief, both physically and emotionally. It is a wonderful way to reduce stress caused by the buildup of emotions.  It’s a safe method for letting off steam without hurting anyone or anything.  It is a playful way to dump emotions without attacking others or the environment.”      The Power of Your Other Hand, by Lucia Capacchione,PHD


Oh, the things we take for granted:  Our ability to use our wrists and fingers without fatigue.  As I am healing from wrist surgery, I realize how I need to allow my body to rest after a little computer work.  I am rebuilding my strength, but it will take time.  So I am learning to write left handed to take a little load off my right wrist. I love this journey I am taking because it is getting me in touch with my inner child, and I am learning how out of balance my life has become.  I have been so stuck in the doing world, that I have neglected myself, especially the creative side of myself.  Getting back in touch with my inner voice is beginning to make my body feel a little more centered.  Using Lucia’s book as a reference, I am making my way through exercises designed to give voice to that part of me that has so long gone without being heard.  Trauma in my childhood caused me to lose my inner voice, and my ability to speak up for my needs. Through years of journaling, counseling, and body work, and am working toward a more complete and balanced me.  Jannie, my inner child, has agreed to teach me what I have long forgotten:  Life is too short to be too serious, you have to play sometimes, and when we walk hand in hand with those we love, life is grand!  I will be sharing my journey with Jannie, and letting you in on the secrets she reveals.  I don’t think it will be earth shattering, and it won’t be anything you haven’t heard before.  But this will be in Jannie’s voice, and that is all that matters.

The January Journey

The beginning of 2010 did not start off as I had planned.  On the 6th of January, I fell on black ice and broke my wrist so badly that I had to have a plate put in to stabilize the bone.  This was after almost two full weeks of pain and swelling and a not so nice doctor who bent my wrist without any warning and put it in a cast that made me look  like I was doing the “Walk like an Egyptian” dance.  The worst part about all of this was that I broke the wrist of my dominant hand.  That really didn’t match up well with my goal of writing two hours a day.

So what have I done to make it through this month?  Count my blessings!  My fall could have been worse, I could have broken an ankle or fingers at the same time.  I could have been far away from my house by myself, but I was only 25 yards from home walking with my husband and daughter, who took great care of me.  My daughters have risen to the occasion and have helped with cooking, cleaning, and even washing and styling my hair.  I have a great network of friends who have brought meals for my family.  I have also watched my share of HGTV and What Not to Wear.  Now that I am finally mending and have more movement in my fingers, it is time to start writing.

The interesting twist is that I am not going to delve into the book I was planning to work on.  This month brought a new idea and clarity about what my path is.  I am working on a book by writing with my non-dominant hand, and seeing what comes of it.  I know that part of my lesson is that it is important to receive love, which I have been doing.  It is also important to love me when I am just being, and not doing.  This takes a little more work, and that I believe is February’s journey.  Learning to love and honor me and the wisdom of the inner child will be my path.  I hope you will share in it.

The Sunday Routine

The Sunday Routine

The board game is at least fifty years old.  And each time I open it, I remember Grandma:  her cookies, her giggle when she won at cards, her screwdriver drinks, the Broncos, and Scrabble.

My grandmother Mildred was a fixture at our house every Sunday when I was growing up.  After church, we would pick her up from her apartment close to downtown Ft. Collins and bring her home.  If my dad cooked, it was on Sunday morning when he prepared scrambled eggs and Jimmy Dean sausage to go with mom’s homemade cinnamon rolls.  My mother would begin to make a large batch of cookies, or put a pot roast in for dinner.  Breakfast was a time for sharing our stories of school and catching Grandma up on our lives.

On baking days, my brothers and I loved to sneak cookies out from underneath Grandma’s watchful eye.  We always won, and from the corner of Grandma’s mouth, a smile would form and her gentle chiding would let us know that a few cookies were enough.

Grandma was the only baker I knew who had mastered double layer baking without a timer.  She had a four cookie sheet system that none could beat.  One cookie sheet would go into the oven on the bottom rack while she scooped cookie dough onto the second sheet.  When it was time, the second sheet took its place on the bottom rack and the first sheet moved to the top.  By the time the cookies were cooling on the first cookie sheet, the fourth would be getting balls of dough.  It was a legitimate cookie factory, where enough cookies were made to last three growing children and friends a month.  We stored our cookies in one pound coffee cans, and put them all in the freezer.  When we came home from school, the coffee can would be out and 3 cookies would be in our hands before homework was tackled.  No Oreo could compare to the home baked love in those chocolate chip cookies, even frozen ones.  And the oatmeal raisin cookies bursting with cinnamon would win out over chocolate on some days.  What was really amazing was that Grandma never burned cookies, using only the timer in her head.  I always remember her on days when I am adventuresome yet unsuccessful and a batch of my cookies ends up burnt and in the trash.

On a regular basis, our family engaged in the friendly banter of cards.  31 and 99 were Grandma’s favorite games.  My dad would fix a batch of screwdrivers or margaritas (virgin for the kids) and that was Grandma’s fuel, along with some baked treat and apples, for our wonderful games.  I loved watching Grandma get excited about having the right cards to withstand her opponents; a king for 99, a ten to subtract, a nine to pass, a four to reverse.  Back and forth the intense lobby went until someone would forget to pick up a card, and the hand was over.  Grandma would giggle like a school girl after winning a whole pile of nickels.  It wasn’t like she spent them because they would be back out the next week, sometimes as my own ante, ready for another game.

There were times when life was too busy for all of us to sit down and play cards, and on those days, Grandma and I would play scrabble.  I think she got better as the years went by, sometimes even better after a second screwdriver.  She willingly put up with my three letter words while she would get bonus points for using all her letters.  Although I occasionally won, it was only because Grandma helped me get my “X” and “Q” on a triple score.   I remember the soft gentle touch of her hand on mine, the elegant look of her long fingers as she helped me place tiles on the board.  She was an amazing player, practicing during the week on her own, playing two hands against each other.  Mom and Dad finally bought Grandma a deluxe edition with a swivel board, and after she died, her old board game fell into my hands.

On school nights, while the girls are studying, Tony and I will often pour some wine and get out the Scrabble tiles.  The dictionary is close by as we learn the two letter words and the strategies to get higher counts on the tiles.  I used to beat Tony, but now he is beating me to the triple scores, and has even played all of his tiles for bonus points.  Sometimes during the day, when I need a break from work, I will pick up the tiles for two hands and play by myself.  I often wonder if Grandma is watching from heaven, prodding me and leading me to rearrange my letters into new adventuresome words.  Just maybe if I had one of Grandma’s love laced oatmeal raisin cookies, I could use all seven tiles at once.  No matter.  The sight of the old maroon board and the feel of the tiles in my hand remind me of my beloved beautiful grandmother Mildred who loved games, who drank a Sunday screwdriver, and who baked the best cookies in the whole world.

Fall's New Beginnings

I love when late August, early September rolls around, and the nights become a little crisp, just right for sleeping.  As the colors of the trees start to move into deep reds and golds, and then the leaves begin to fall,  it seems like the right time to be thinking about what we are ready to let go of in our own lives.  But today, I want to think about all the possibilities in this season of new beginnings, of kids going back to school.

There is newness all around, if we live in the moment and notice.  I just opened a fresh box of crackers and I was aware of how the little savory rounds neatly lined up, ready for my feast.  A new box of crayons, pencils, pens, or sticky notes.  A book, a journal, a new walking path.  Anytime you open a package, start a new day, step into a new place, it is a chance to reflect on what is new in your life.  In what ways are you growing?  In what ways are you looking for opportunities?

As we take our oldest daughter back to college for her sophomore year, I share in her excitement as she looks forward to her first education classes, and participating in soccer and music, things she didn’t do her freshman year. As my middle daughter starts her junior year, I rejoice in her role in the school play, and her desire to create a healthy routine that will help her be successful.  Finally, I am amazed as my youngest daughter starts her freshman year, open to growth and chances to let her true light shine.

I may not be going back to school, but I do believe there are always lessons to be learned in the school of life.  Although this is the season of beginning our inward journey, new beginnings are all around us.  Even as I let go of a summer routine, I look forward to the discipline of a new work schedule.  I look forward to adding blogging time to my daily regime.  And I look forward to all the little beginnings that take place even among the times of letting go.  Be aware, Jan, and celebrate the joys of living in the moment, of growing in little ways, of letting your own light shine.