Today, I had coffee with an amazing woman named Donna Mazzitelli.  She is the owner of Bellisima Living,  and she helps you create and connect to a more healthy green and beautiful life.  We had a wonderful conversation, sharing stories like we were old friends, and laughing at our own personalities, the ones that keep us striving to do more, and struggling to play.  We both agreed that play needs to come into our lives more often so we can be balanced.

I like to teach other women self care, and balance is one thing I always talk about.  They say that when you teach what you most need to learn, the learning comes quicker.  I hope so.  After my meeting, I gave a healing touch treatment, spent two hours in the garden pulling weeds, and an hour on the phone, following up with leads for The Trump Network, cut rhubarb for my neighbor and made a rhubarb crisp,  and still I didn’t feel like I had done enough.  Even though it was a balanced day between my work, and home work, and a little time in the garden, I still felt like I needed to accomplish something.  I think the thought that goes through my head is “What activities are supporting my family financially?”  My husband put it so politely when he said,” So you did all this today and you want to call yourself a little Sh- -!

Wow!  Coming from him, the words stung, but in fact, I had been calling myself that for not getting enough done.  It just sounded louder coming from him.  Isn’t it amazing how we talk so poorly to ourselves and don’t even recognize it until someone says it for us!  I had indeed been looking at all my activities in my day and thinking that it wasn’t enough.

I may not look at the glass as half empty. In fact, I like to think of the glass as overflowing with abundance, but yet I can’t offer that same view on my own life and my own work.  I always fall short because of the critic inside and I sh- – on myself for being human.  Instead of looking at all the good I did today ( meet a new friend, offer healing to another soul and make her smile and feel loved, feed my family and neighbors with a delicious treat, talk to people about a great opportunity, and even spruce up my garden) all I can see is what I didn’t do.

So here I am being honest with all of you that sometimes, I can’t see the good I do in the world. Now of course, writing it down and really thinking about what I did, I can see that I made my little corner of the world a little brighter.  If  only I could see the good and not worry about what didn’t get done.  The truth is, there will always be more work than anyone can do in a day.

I think I need to change my definition of success.  Touching another person’s  life with love, joy, opportunity, fun, and food are all ways to be successful.  And I did all that and more today!

Thank you Tony, for calling me what I was calling myself, so I could really see my day from a different perspective.  It is all good!