Be your own valentine video by Jan Haas, coach
It is wonderful how Valentine’s Day comes during this week of practicing random acts of kindness. If you are like me, sharing kindness with others is easier than sharing it with myself. We forget that the airlines always say, secure your own oxygen mask before helping others. Today, I made myself a Valentine. Watch the clip, and then tell me how you are going to treat yourself with kindness and love this week.
“Let’s ebb together over tea.”
That’s what I told my friend Donna today as we were talking about our week. She is listening to Joan Anderson on CD, soaking in the wisdom of the waves of the ocean by which Joan writes. Joan’s book, “A Year by the Sea” is an amazing read, and worth repeating at different stages of your life.
It seems that both Donna and I found ourselves ebbing this week, in the lull between action, and feeling at times a little off course. When there is no visible movement toward a goal, it is easy to feel like you are alone, adrift at sea, unable to reach the shore. Writing has not come easily. The reality is that everyone goes through periods of flow and ebb in their life. We are not the odd ones out who can’t seem to get IT all together, whatever IT is. There is not a magic formula that allows someone to stay in flow at all times. And even if there were, would you choose to stay in the constant motion of flow?
I need to release the idea that ebb is a bad thing. Ebb time is a chance for me to slow down, and in the quiet, trust that I am in the right place. If I don’t slow down, I often get caught moving in circles. I make decisions based out of fear rather than decisions that are true and right for me.
Yesterday I listened to my body and took a nap. In fact, I took two naps because the first one wasn’t long enough. Today, I have much more energy and am productive again in my work. I have been inspired sharing my new writing business with Donna and am watching the pieces of the puzzle fall into place. There is synchronicity in my life all pointing me in the right direction.
I am learning that the trick to being in the flow is not fighting the ebb. When in the ebb, it is important to take time to re-create, re-lax, re-energize. And next time I feel like I am all alone and adrift at sea, I will call Donna and over a cup of tea, she will remind me that I am right where I should be, relaxing in the embrace of an endless ocean of love. She will remind me that flow will come again. It always does.
The steam is rising from my cup of tea, and huddled under the blanket on my lap, I am cozy as I write this post. Although I do feel the importance of planning my year so that I know where I am going, I am being called right now to sit in the silence and let my heart guide me. The Christmas tree is still up for another week, and I am enjoying the soft white lights behind the gold and silver stars. There is no place for me to be but here.
I am reminded about how busy we become so quickly after a time of rest. You did rest, didn’t you? Our family time was spent at the Haas Family cabin on Columbine Lake. It was our last time together in the cabin because it has been sold to another family- an aunt with many nieces and nephews. I hope that she can create as many wonderful memories as we did. It was difficult to leave a place where our girls experienced so much fun over the past twenty years. Fourth of July and New Years were our two big celebrations, although we would get to the cabin as often as possible. It is where I wrote the bulk of my book in the fall. I am grateful for spaces that allow us to be ourselves, where we could share family time, a big hammock in the summer to reflect on the clouds passing overhead, and large windows by the fire to watch the snow fall.
So now I sit in my own living room, in no hurry to move forward, caught up in that reflection time. I read about the need to make 2011 a much more productive prosperous year, yet I am drawn like my friend Andrea Costantine, into a creative space where more reflection and gratitude for my life feels like the right approach to take for a wonderful new year. Yes, money needs to be earned and a book needs to be finished and published, but I am counting on Divine Timing to guide my steps. Prayer time and writing time will fill my mornings before I begin on my computer. Creative time will increase my productive time. If I get out of my own way, and trust my intuition about where I am supposed to be, I will have an amazing year. If I am focused only on the future, it is easy to miss the moments of grace that actually propel me to more abundance in my life. I am committed to being a healing presence in the world, and no amount of new year’s resolutions will help me do that. Any planning for the future takes me out of the present, the only place I can bring healing to myself and the world.
So I vow to live more of my days in the moment instead of dreaming about my tomorrows and planning my future. What about you? How are you going to slow down instead of speed up so you don’t miss the miracles in your life?
The Self Care Scoop
Creating a Self-Care First Aid Kit
taken from Cheryl Richardson’s
“The Art of Extreme Self-Care”
I know that when I hit my breaking point, I am not in my right mind to think about how I am going to move through the current situation. That is why Cheryl Richardson suggests creating a First Aid List for Self Care, so that you can turn to it when you really need help creating balance again. Here are the questions to ask yourself. Write your answers in short hand on a 3×5 card to stick on your fridge so that you can access it when you are in a pinch.
1) Who can I turn to for support when I am afraid? Who comforts me, makes me feel safe, and allows me to have my feelings?
2) Who do I need to avoid because they add to my anxiety level?
3) What does my body need to feel nurtured, strong and healthy?
4) What responsibilities or commitments do I need to let go of so I am able to honor my needs?
5) What unhelpful coping strategies or activities do I need to avoid?
6) What spiritual practices restores my faith or connects me with God?
7) What do I need to feel comforted at this time?
8) How will I best express my feelings? How can I be creative?
9) What object can I use as a talisman that will remind me to breathe and return to the present moment?
10) What can I do when I need to take a break from the emotional stress? What is my best healthy distraction?
When I couldn’t sleep the other night, I decided to do a little research into Play. I have added it as one of my blog categories because frankly, my life has been a little boring with all work and no play so I am hoping that as I teach others about the wonderful art of having fun, I will incorporate more play into my own life. Painting with Andrea Costantine on Wednesday made me realize how fun it is to spend two hours not thinking about work, or money, or kids.
Now, I know that play isn’t academic, and all it takes it a desire to find fun in my life again, but I was really curious as to what kind of research is being done on the value of play.
I opened up Google and typed in “The necessity of Play” and found out that it is vital for children. Agreed. Then I typed in “Women learning how to play” and I got all kinds of instructions on how to play golf or the guitar. Next, I tried “The Art of Play” and I got a theater book on acting. Finally I typed in “Balancing work and play” and I got some essays on the importance of leisure. I felt like I was getting somewhere until I explored two different sites that talked about two different books, one published in 1994 and another published in 2004.
I found no recent information about the necessity of play, specifically for women. It seems my husband knows intrinsically that adding leisure is necessary and he will drop many other things to play his guitar, while I will make sure the dishes are done, the bills are paid, and the house is straightened before I will think about what I can do for myself. I know that I have forgotten the joys of letting an afternoon slip by because I was deeply engaged in imaginative play. In my line of work, where writing is vital, I know that I would truly benefit from more imagination and less hours behind the computer screen. I know that imagination sparks creativity, that it can sharpen problem solving skills, and also bring some stress relief to our busy lives. I believe that having fun can also make us happier people.
So I begin my quest to explore play and learn more about incorporating it into my daily life. If you know of good resources for me to explore, let me know, and I will gladly share what I learn with all of you. In the meantime, share with me your favorite ways to play. Every Friday, I will work (play) to bring you new ideas on how to add fun back into your life. Just knowing that I am blogging about Fun Fridays is making me think of ways to play every day!
The countdown has begun. We are just days away from the launch of the Speaking Your Truth book, a collection of women’s stories about overcoming adversity.
It has been an exciting journey to be a part of this book. It is fun to be with other writers, sharing our experiences. It is amazing to read about the strength and determination of women to make something good happen in their lives. And I look with awe at my own story of overcoming illness. You will have to get the book and read “The Bedpan” to learn more.
Please help 49 women make the best seller status by purchasing a copy of Speaking Your Truth on August 25th from Amazon. If you buy one for yourself and one as a gift, you will receive free shipping. Please forward this email to anyone who you think would enjoy the book.
I greatly appreciate your support! Because of this book, I am now writing my own book about my illness. It is a challenging journey, remembering the difficult year when I spent so many months in the hospital, but in the looking, I am finding many moments of grace that kept me going. I hope that you too, will find strength in our stories, and have the courage to face whatever challenges lie in front of you!
