October, 2009

Archive for October 2009

The Sunday Routine

The Sunday Routine

The board game is at least fifty years old.  And each time I open it, I remember Grandma:  her cookies, her giggle when she won at cards, her screwdriver drinks, the Broncos, and Scrabble.

My grandmother Mildred was a fixture at our house every Sunday when I was growing up.  After church, we would pick her up from her apartment close to downtown Ft. Collins and bring her home.  If my dad cooked, it was on Sunday morning when he prepared scrambled eggs and Jimmy Dean sausage to go with mom’s homemade cinnamon rolls.  My mother would begin to make a large batch of cookies, or put a pot roast in for dinner.  Breakfast was a time for sharing our stories of school and catching Grandma up on our lives.

On baking days, my brothers and I loved to sneak cookies out from underneath Grandma’s watchful eye.  We always won, and from the corner of Grandma’s mouth, a smile would form and her gentle chiding would let us know that a few cookies were enough.

Grandma was the only baker I knew who had mastered double layer baking without a timer.  She had a four cookie sheet system that none could beat.  One cookie sheet would go into the oven on the bottom rack while she scooped cookie dough onto the second sheet.  When it was time, the second sheet took its place on the bottom rack and the first sheet moved to the top.  By the time the cookies were cooling on the first cookie sheet, the fourth would be getting balls of dough.  It was a legitimate cookie factory, where enough cookies were made to last three growing children and friends a month.  We stored our cookies in one pound coffee cans, and put them all in the freezer.  When we came home from school, the coffee can would be out and 3 cookies would be in our hands before homework was tackled.  No Oreo could compare to the home baked love in those chocolate chip cookies, even frozen ones.  And the oatmeal raisin cookies bursting with cinnamon would win out over chocolate on some days.  What was really amazing was that Grandma never burned cookies, using only the timer in her head.  I always remember her on days when I am adventuresome yet unsuccessful and a batch of my cookies ends up burnt and in the trash.

On a regular basis, our family engaged in the friendly banter of cards.  31 and 99 were Grandma’s favorite games.  My dad would fix a batch of screwdrivers or margaritas (virgin for the kids) and that was Grandma’s fuel, along with some baked treat and apples, for our wonderful games.  I loved watching Grandma get excited about having the right cards to withstand her opponents; a king for 99, a ten to subtract, a nine to pass, a four to reverse.  Back and forth the intense lobby went until someone would forget to pick up a card, and the hand was over.  Grandma would giggle like a school girl after winning a whole pile of nickels.  It wasn’t like she spent them because they would be back out the next week, sometimes as my own ante, ready for another game.

There were times when life was too busy for all of us to sit down and play cards, and on those days, Grandma and I would play scrabble.  I think she got better as the years went by, sometimes even better after a second screwdriver.  She willingly put up with my three letter words while she would get bonus points for using all her letters.  Although I occasionally won, it was only because Grandma helped me get my “X” and “Q” on a triple score.   I remember the soft gentle touch of her hand on mine, the elegant look of her long fingers as she helped me place tiles on the board.  She was an amazing player, practicing during the week on her own, playing two hands against each other.  Mom and Dad finally bought Grandma a deluxe edition with a swivel board, and after she died, her old board game fell into my hands.

On school nights, while the girls are studying, Tony and I will often pour some wine and get out the Scrabble tiles.  The dictionary is close by as we learn the two letter words and the strategies to get higher counts on the tiles.  I used to beat Tony, but now he is beating me to the triple scores, and has even played all of his tiles for bonus points.  Sometimes during the day, when I need a break from work, I will pick up the tiles for two hands and play by myself.  I often wonder if Grandma is watching from heaven, prodding me and leading me to rearrange my letters into new adventuresome words.  Just maybe if I had one of Grandma’s love laced oatmeal raisin cookies, I could use all seven tiles at once.  No matter.  The sight of the old maroon board and the feel of the tiles in my hand remind me of my beloved beautiful grandmother Mildred who loved games, who drank a Sunday screwdriver, and who baked the best cookies in the whole world.

Little Girl Giggles

My oldest daughter is working on a Barbie project in her sophomore year of college. She has to make Barbie more realistic.  In an effort to help her, I went looking for old doll clothes that might fit a re-sized Barbie.  When I opened boxes and baskets of doll clothes, voices of little girls filled the air and surrounded me with their joy and laughter.  My three daughters spent countless days playing house and dressing up dolls for tea parties.  Many a time I was a guest in the restaurant with the doll Lizzie and her friends as my companions.  Some of the doll clothes are actually clothes that my own girls wore: a green bathing suit with bows of red and yellow and blue, and a pumpkin outfit, complete with a hat to make a happy jack-o-lantern on Halloween.

Where did the time go?  Wasn’t it just yesterday, when I held all three in my arms as we read books on the couch?  Weren’t we just dancing all together in the living room?  And didn’t my husband and I chuckle over the wisdom the girls found in the moments of each day, that without a child’s perspective, would have escaped our notice?  I can see their little faces, each with a distinct personality, highlighted I am sure by the current version of themselves.

The house is quiet during the day now, with kids at school and then extracurricular activities.  Gone are the days when following three girls around the house seemed like a daunting task, but oh, how good it was.

Now they are off in a hundred directions, growing up into beautiful young women.  And as much as I miss their little girl giggles, I love watching them become powerful strong women who have the courage to stand up for themselves, and make their own mark on the world.

So after my search, I put away the doll clothes, and soak in the last echoes of children playing.  Their laughter finds its way to my heart, where I can pull it out on a rainy day when I need some joy.  There will come a day in the future, when hopefully grandchildren will delight in the treasures of dollhouses and doll clothes and baby baskets galore.  Until then, I rejoice in the voices of young women, sharing their days, and their laughter.  And I allow myself to be amazed at the wisdom that comes from the old souls of these young women, who continue to help me see the goodness that is all around me, that now is a moment of joy, if I only stop to notice.

Cleaning the Bookshelves…Cleaning my Soul

It seems hard to believe that as much as I love books, and enjoy having them throughout my house, my husband loves them more than me. This can be difficult at times, because there is rarely a book that is deemed unworthy of sitting on our bookshelves. I can pick out twenty in a heartbeat, and when my husband sees the pile I plan on taking to the used book store, half of them always end up back in our library, where some shelves are now two deep with novels and non-fiction books that are must reads, and poetry books whose words are balm for a busy life. I definitely wouldn’t win any decorating awards for spacious shelves with lots of knick knacks and a few token books that are just for looks.

With the start of the school year, we are working to find room on the shelves by the desk to put school books, and even my work notebooks. This morning, while my husband was gone, I pulled books off of shelves, dusted and organized them, and was able to come up with five bags of books to either take back to those people I borrowed them from, give away as gifts or sneak to the second hand book store. I made sure I didn’t take any of my husband’s books, just ones that I have outgrown and am willing to share with others.

As I sit down to write at the clean desk next to shelves that now have space to breathe, I rejoice that in the process of lightening the load in my life. My heart feels happy, knowing that I will now see friends that have been absent for awhile, their books marking pages in my life, reminding me of the joy we’ve shared.

The shelves, free of dust and neatly organized, help me see the dust that covers my own heart where I have held grudges, pain and fear. I consciously run the duster through the corners and move out those feelings that no longer serve me. Returning books to the rightful owners encourages me to let go of those hindering energies that are not mine, but I have been carrying just the same.

A pressed oak leaf falls out of a book as it is returned to the shelf. It is a reminder of a joyous time in my life when my husband and I were first married. My heart smiles, my soul sings, and my life is new again. The action of cleaning my house this morning has created space for me to think, breathe and be in touch with my heart and all its mysteries.
Not that I want to do this again next week, but it has been a wonderful way for me to dust the corners in my life.