A Cabinet Full of Love

In one of the classes I facilitate, we read an article on emotional eating.  The story was about a little girl who loved chocolate but the mom was worried that she would eat too much and gain weight.  The person she went to see for help told the mom to fill a cabinet to the brim with chocolate goodies and let the child eat as much as she wanted.  The instructions were to fill up the cabinet any time something was taken out.  The child ate out of the cupboard a lot the first week and the mom had to fill it up four times.  But then it began to taper off and soon the child wasn’t interested in the candy.  She had gotten what she had wanted:  her mother’s trust in her ability to choose wisely for herself.

So the question at the end of the article was, if you could choose anything at all to be in a cabinet that you could open at any time and get what you needed, what would you put in the cabinet?  In our small group, the words success, respect and wii fit came up.  All I could think about in my head was opening a cabinet and being bathed in pure light and love, and receiving an undeniable  “I love you” from God each time I opened it.  I could feel myself being wrapped in a blanket of warm air, and could see golden light streaming from the cabinet and surrounding me with a beautiful peace.

What would happen if you never forgot that you came from this love, and that you are never separate from this love?  How would your life be different?  It wouldn’t matter what car you drove, what kind of job you had, or even how much money you had.  All that mattered was that each day, you went to the cabinet to get your daily connection, your awareness that you are not separate from this unconditional love.  Would you show up differently in the world?   Would you treat people differently, knowing that they are a part of this same divine love that you are tapping into?

We all have access to this cabinet at all times in our life.  We just have to know how to access it. It doesn’t come over the phone, by email or through satelite or cable television.  It doesn’t come when you pay enough dues to buy the cabinet.  You don’t get the love because you go to the right church, and like the right people.  All we have to do to access this amazing love is to  BE QUIET!   That’s right.  There is a magic that happens in your soul when you take the time to be still and remember that we are made in the image and likeness of Divine Love.  When you connect to this love, there is no longer a division between you and God or you and another person.  When you connect to this power, you realize that if you stay connected, you can do great things in the world.

BE QUIET, and let the peace and joy of God’s love fill your heart, and remind you that you are God’s beloved.

The Power of Community

Did anyone watch The Biggest Loser last night and get watery eyes when Ron crossed the finish line after walking a marathon?  Ron (the biggest and oldest guy on the show) had to stop many times because of the pain in his knee, high blood pressure, blood sugar issues, etc.  I am sure the doctors were worried about him continuing, but he made the choice to finish the race.  About half way through, he was met by some of the past Biggest Losers, and they walked with him, keeping his pace, offering encouragement, reminding him of his strength.  Eventually, one of his sons, and the other contestants came to meet him and they brought him to the finish line.  It was a journey he could not have completed himself.

I am reminded of how many times in my life I have needed a community of people to help me cross the finish line.  Many years ago, I was quite sick after the birth of my third daughter, and I spent 150 days in the hospital.  A group of dedicated people from the church, along with cousins and relatives, became my family’s lifeline, providing diapers and formula, countless meals, money given freely, and prayers that kept me alive. One of my friends has a vision of “the bucket brigade”, everyone standing in a line, storming heaven with buckets and buckets of prayers.  I can truly say that I am alive today because of a community who held me up when I couldn’t take care of myself.

I sometimes think people belong to a group because they want something for free. They’re in it for what they get out of the deal. However, there is a true knack to being in community. We must be willing to ask for and receive (not take) a helping hand, and we must be willing to step forward and offer our gifts to others as well. Sharing our vulnerabilities as well as our strengths is what makes us relate to and appreciate one another in more intimate ways. No community is without challenges, but a community creates an opportunity to learn about ourselves, and can give us the strength to grow into more whole beings.

Watching Ron cross that finish line reminds me that I too have a community of loving supporters behind me, cheering me on, encouraging me to live my life to the fullest, and to not give up, even when it hurts.

Tourist or Pilgrim?

Many of you may just be reading my blog for the first time, and if that is the case, welcome!

This week,  in one of my classes,  I was talking to people about the difference between a tourist on the road, and a pilgrim on the journey.  I have become a tourist, always wanting to be somewhere other than where I am.  “When I get married, then I will be happy.  When we have more money, things will be a lot easier.  When I am feeling better, I will… When the kids are all gone…  the list goes on.

It is as if nothing in the present moment could ever entice me to stay, and my thoughts often wander to what tomorrow will bring. Not that I am unhappy in the present moment, I just always have a checklist of things to accomplish and that list goes far into the future.

Macrina Wiederkehr, in her book “Seasons of Your Heart”, tells a story of her friend who visiting Niagara Falls.  “He was standing there in awe of that wonderful baptismal bath when a man hurriedly walked up with his wife.  The man snapped a few pictures and then rather impatiently turned to his wife and said,  ‘OK Mabel, we’ve seen it.  Let’s go.’ Do you think the man was a pilgrim or a tourist?”

I think of how many times I have skimmed over a poem or an article, not allowing the words to soak in and really hear them. The reason my website is not complete is because my skimming has not taught me how to get rid of the  ads still on my pages.  I am reminded of how many times I only half listen to a story my girls are telling me about school, and then I miss the importance of what they are saying.  I am a snap shot person, hoping that I will find the time to come back and look at the picture later and be able to let the essence of the moment come back to me.

It is difficult to be a pilgrim in the middle of many projects.  I think about how I can start on the next project as soon as the first one is done.   I think about gathering new healing touch clients, in the midst of designing a retreat.   It seems like a large part of my brain is always thinking about moving beyond the present moment, thinking that somewhere down the road, there will come a time of quiet, there will be a pause for rest.

And that is why my body is fighting me today.  It too is looking for that pause, that rest, but it is not looking into the future to find it.  It is demanding it now, letting me know that it is not happy with my tourist approach to life.  My body would much rather be a pilgrim, enjoying and trusting the process, believing that all shall be well and reveal itself at just the right time.  It wants me to stop taking snapshots of my life.  My body wants me to put away the camera and sit in the present and see the gift that this present moment has to offer.

When I am quiet, and I take the time to rest in the sun in my backyard, and soak in the colors of the spring flowers that are blooming around me, my minds stops churning.  I breathe in God’s peace and feel love relax the tight muscles in my neck.  I close my eyes and see only this moment: the blue sky, the flowers, the sun on my face.  I allow all my busy-ness to fall away and I become the pilgrim I long to be.

And so I choose to finish this blog, and go for a walk with my daughter and my dog Sophie.  I am thinking about my feet hitting the ground as a pilgrim.  I am thinking about all the things I will see:  the toddlers on the swings in the park and the boys playing basketball; all the kids playing soccer and lacrosse , and surely we will run into another dog, taking a human for a walk.  Yes, I am thinking into the future, but this time, I won’t rush past the present to get there.  I am not taking my camera, only my heart that longs for a little touch of spring, a little respite from the work, and the chance to breathe.  I will be a pilgrim.  I am a pilgrim.   Won’t you join me?

Will the Future be Shaped by Fear or Love?

“These are the great tests of our young century. And the choices that we make in the coming years will determine whether the future will be shaped by fear or by freedom; by poverty or by prosperity; by strife or by a just, secure and lasting peace.”

These are words spoken by President Obama in front of the Turkish Parliament just yesterday morning.  It seems to me that all the world is in a transition point, a place of making decisions that will shape who we are to become as a world, as a nation, as communities, and as individuals. 

“Our philosophy creates our attitudes.” I think I first heard this from Jim Rohn on one of the many tapes I have listened to on my journey.  Our philosophy creates our attitudes.   In turn, our attitudes create our actions in the world.  If I choose that the world is abundant, than I show up and act in a completely different way than if I believe that there is never enough to go around.

In this world where there is already enough negativity, I look at President Obama and am glad that someone can stand up to the face of adversity and believe in the goodness of people to make the right choices.  We do have a choice about how we will create the world going forward.  I know that my goal is to create my life based out of love instead of fear.  What I really want to do with my life is make a difference.  I know that in order to do that, I have to choose to move out of fear into love. 

When we function out of love and peace instead of worry or fear, we vibrate at a higher energy level.  We draw to ourselves the solutions that we are looking for.  When we relinquish the illusion of control we think we have over our lives, we actually move into the freedom of trusting that God wants the best and highest good for us.  And we sit in the peace of knowing that there is abundance in the world, we are in the flow of goodness. New opportunities to thrive present themselves. We are open to relationships that can create a new form of wealth in our lives.

One of my favorite meditative mantras these days is “I choose God’s peace.  I choose God’s love.”  In the midst of looking for ways of creating more income, facilitating workshops and classes, and building my healing touch business, I find it difficult to be quiet and hear the voice of God.  Too often, I am so busy that I only hear my voice telling me all the things I need to do.  When I stop and breathe in God’s love and peace, I see things from a different set of eyes.  I learn to trust in the goodness of the world, in the ability of myself and others to choose the best alternatives for all involved.

I talked with our financial advisor the other day.  I told him that at least Tony and I got our priorities straight.  We may not have all the money in the world, but we can continue to work on that.  What we do have is great relationships with our beautiful happy teenage daughters.  We know how to have fun together and share the joys and sorrows of our days.  I am teaching them to learn to love others, accept our differences and celebrate the qualities that bring us together. I am teaching them to choose love instead of fear.

I look forward to the day when we can look back at President Obama’s words, view our lives and say, “We chose to live in love and abundance, and that has made all the difference.”

Connections that Matter

Have you ever noticed that the gentle reminders to stay on track often come when you least expect them? These lucid moments are ripe with wisdom for our souls, if only we take the time to listen. A voice in my head reminded me to pay attention to the goals I set at the beginning of the year. I decided that my biggest focus would be on building new business relationships. As I am coming to an understanding of just how to network and market the gifts that I have, I realize how difficult it can be to focus on authentic connections, especially when my livelihood relies on finding my own clients.

I have clearly seen the struggle many people exhibit as they are networking, desperately wanting clients just so they can feed their families. In this fear based economy, many of us are truly missing what we most deeply desire: connection and validation from others.

When networking, it is easy to fall into the trap of “What’s in this for me?”

Recently in a book group, we talked about a quote from The Open Door, by Joyce Rupp. “ I heard how loud the ego’s voice was as it eagerly sought to let others know how “I” was doing, what “I” was thinking, where “I” was going, but failed to ask and listen to the experience of the other person.”

When we focus purely on ourselves, and connect with others out of our own fear, we miss the heart connection that we truly crave, especially when the world seems a bit crazy. We really just need someone to tell us that we are going to be fine, that everything will work out in the end, and the reality is that we only have each other, and we serve each other best when we remember that affirming who we are, not what we do, is most important. Building a network means connecting the people who can help each other and through the connections we make, the web of life continues to flow. It really isn’t our job that gives us the security we seek. It is the people who make up our support system that we can turn to when times are difficult. Authentic heart-felt connections can move us out of fear into the space of possibility, into the joy of new ideas and creations and just maybe, hopefully, into love and concern for each other.

So instead of seeing what I can get out of networking, I am going to focus on what I can bring to networking, and see if the connections I make with others can help build a woven web of support for all of us.

Patient Trust

Patient Trust

Above all, trust in the slow work of God. We are, quite naturally, impatient in everything to reach the end without delay. We should like to skip the intermediate stages on the way to something unknown, something new. And yet it is the law of all progress that is made by passing through some stages of instability. And it may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you. Your ideas mature gradually- let them grow; let them shape themselves without undue haste. Don’t try to force them on, as though you could be today what time (and that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will) will make you tomorrow. Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be.

Give our Lord the benefit of believing that His hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ

Trust and Patience is what I have been working on these last few days.  After my tutoring job came to an end because the company closed, I have been on a search for what’s next.  Of course, I am like most people these days and i rely on even a part time job to keep food on the table.  Thank goodness for my daily prayer that works wonders to keep me grounded.

Yesterday, I did a meditation on the process of moving from the caterpillar, to the chrysalis, to the butterfly.  As I moved into the cocoon, I enjoyed the quiet white light that filled my heart and gave me peace.  I began looking for the butterfly, wanting so much to fly!  But I kept hearing, “Not now.  Take your time.  Heal in the light. Be here now.”  I stayed in that cocoon and felt such a sense of peace.  I have to trust that there is something out there that will allow me to continue to do what I love, as well as help me feed my family.  I always say God didn’t give me the gifts I have, only to make me put them away to take a job for money.  This is where the patient trust comes in.  I can’t jump from the caterpillar into the butterfly without the quiet time to give me some direction.  Creativity and growth can’t take place when I am stuck in fear and worry.  I have to sit in the chrysalis and ALLOW God’s love to do its magic.

So I am in the state of allowing.  I am in the chrysalis, in the soup of possibility, waiting to see what incredible creation God has in store for me.  I know in my heart that I am taken care of.  I will not buy into the fear that I don’t have enough, or that the money will run out.  I choose to live in the chrysalis of peace and light, knowing that I am being transformed into a beautiful butterfly that will spread her wings and fly!